CrossAttracted.com

My Blog Has a Point!

I have been toying with a blog for a while. I have always been a strongly opinionated man so the medium has great appeal to me...sort of like the Times Op-Ed without the fame or the salary.

That said, I did not want to be another voice in the wilderness, posting my rants and raves and replying to the three other guys who feel as I do about socialized medicine or the lost programs of Joe Penner.

Over time the topic, podcast reviewing, and the niche, advice podcasts, became apparent. So that is my point--listening to the biggest purveyors of advice and critiquing their job. How tolerant are they? When do their agendas minimalize or marginalize their listeners? And also, when do they hit the nail on the head, dispensing great strategies that all of us could probably put to use at one time or another?

So that is what I am going to do. Now, who are the big players? Well, without access to podcast ratings, common knowledge of the web points me toward the three big purveyors of web wisdom: Dr. Joy Browne, Dan Savage and Dr. Laura Schlesinger.

Tomorrow I will come clean on my take on the three of them and also offer some insight into my take on the three talk jockeys.

Eating Defensively at Subway Sandwich shops

When people see me as a client they are usually working to change one, and sometimes all, aspects of their lives. Part of the process, in order to keep these transitions from becoming overwhelming failures, is to identify specific goals. Once we have a goal in place, then we can start determining the steps involved to make it a reality.

Typically weight loss is a topic on the table, as it is with most Americans. My approach to this issue addresses more than just exercise, but also a close examination of everything they eat or drink. I know people who have been hitting the gym for years and assume their potbelly is "natural." In a sense it is...it's natural to have a big gut if you eat potato chips and drink high fructose corn syrup all day.

Part of the education I give them regards eating defensively when they eat out. Unlocking the hidden calories that are a knee jerk reaction for food preparation is the principal way to purge hundreds, nay (how often do I get to say nay?) thousands of calories from your daily intake.

For instance, today I had to get a sandwich at Subway--you know, the chain Jared lost all that weight at? Well I order my stock item there...foot long chicken breast on hearty Italian and the girl shot back at me, "what kind of cheese?" No cheese I say as she glances at me. Cheese is high-calorie and has dairy fat, one of the slowest burning fats one can consume. I just saved myself a few hundred calories and a few hours of running.

I order it with the tomato sauce from the meatballs (not perfect since it has some fat in it from the meatballs cooked in it) and then spinach, tomatoes and banana peppers.

While not a perfect meal, it met a lot of my nutritional requirements and filled me up.

Did I do the chips? No, not this time...but if I do I go with baked Lays or, if my back is up against the wall, chips fried in Olestra. Never regular chips, which are fried in animal fat and high in calories.

So that's the way you do it. Take a look at your daily eating...where can you milk out a few hundred calories here and there?

Next time we can go to McDonald's. While certainly not an ideal dining situation, one can eat there and avoid the land mines scattered throughout the menu.

Any ideas I may have overlooked? Any mistakes I made?

Heath Ledger: Taking Advantage of a Tragedy

I don't know if any of you have been following this, but listen to what Fox's John Gibson said immediately following our friend Heath Ledger's passing (courtesy of ThinkProgress.org).

Then, like a kid with his dirty hand in the cookie jar, this is what he said the following day on Fox TV.

How long are we going to tolerate those who make their livings being intolerant? They push the envelope and step on people who can't or won't defend themselves...and then if they get in trouble they come clean, or at least as clean as someone like this is able.

Are you disgusted? Well tell those who count:

Please contact:

Mr. Mitch Davis
Vice President
Fox News Radio Network
1211 Avenue Of The Americas
18th Floor
New York, NY 10036-8701
Direct Phone: *212-301-5800
Outlet Fax: *212-301-5455
Outlet Phone: 212-301-3000
Email: mitch.davis@foxnews.com

Mr. Robert Finnerty
Senior Vice President
Fox News Radio Network
1211 Avenue Of The Americas
18th Floor
New York, NY 10036-8701
Direct Phone: *212-301-5800
Outlet Fax: *212-301-5455
Outlet Phone: 212-301-3000
Email: robert.finnerty@foxnews.com

Ms. Irena Briganti
Vice President of Public Relations
FOX News Channel
1211 Avenue Of The Americas
Lowr C1
New York, NY 10036
Direct Phone : *212-301-3608
Outlet Fax : *212-382-1411
Outlet Phone : 212-301-3000
Email: irena.briganti@foxnews.com
Contact by: E-mail

Ms. Suzanne Scott
Vice President, Programming
FOX News Channel
1211 Avenue Of The Americas
Lowr C1
New York, NY 10036
Direct Phone : *212-301-8558
Outlet Fax : *212-382-1411
Outlet Phone : 212-301-3000
Email: suzanne.scott@foxnews.com

foxnewsradio@foxnews.com
gibsonradio@foxnews.com

JOHN GIBSON
john.gibson@foxnews.com
212-301-3000

His "apology" is the equivalent of a death row conversion--too little, too late. Let's give him something to really feel bad about...

Heath Ledger in Brooklyn

I was excited and proud when I heard that Heath Ledger and Michelle Wililams moved to Brooklyn not longer after the acclaim they both recieved after Brokeback Mountain. Fame from the film had made their L.A. home a have for paparazzi and in order to have a sane life for themeselves and their child they made the move East.

One of the plusses for celebs living here is that, for a variety of reason, no one, save the rare tourist or star-fucker, bothers them when they are out. While that can be a hendrence for the lives of us everyday folk (i.e. no one talks to people they don't know), it makes life for the famous fairly blissful.

I never saw them, but knew of them as they became heavily involved in opposing the Atlantic Yards project, a monumental gentrification project that I fully supported. So I heard about Heath in particular, who was quite active in attempting to stop the project.

Then in the summer of 2006, I met, and briefly dated a man who is one of my classic types--the California beach bum. Early thrities, thight body, bushy blonde hair (yeah, I know, Surfin' U.S.A.).

And he told me a wonderful story about a guy in his neighborhood. Being a surfer type, the closest he can get to the waves is skateboarding along the many miles of concrete that make up the City. So he hung out in the park in Boerum Hill, and being a regular began to have a nodding accqaintence with several guys who also spent time there. He mentioned one guy in particular, really nice, great smile, who was there a lot talking all things surfing and skateboarding.

No surprise to you that he was describing Heath Ledger. He, the guy I was seeing, told me that it was about the fifth or sixth time that they spoke that it dawned on him who he was speaking to. Eventually they were introduced and he always told me how warm, funny and unprentitious this new mega-actor was to everyone he met.

I rememberd thinking how I would have loved to head down there with him one Saturday and meet Heath, and thank him for a performance I shall never forget. I did not, as it fell into my stack of good ideas that never came to fruitition. Of course I regret that, as now I never will.

One other thing; if you love Ledger as I do, read A.O. Scott's warm tribute in the Times, "Prince of Intensity With a Lightness of Touch."

How Was Heath Ledger as a Neighbor?

I just finished my post on Heath and failed to mention the tidbits I know of him from when he lived in Brooklyn with Michelle Williams and the daughter.

So tomorrow I will post that...

Heath Ledger: We Lost a Friend

The death of an actor I never met has effected me far more than I thought it would.

My six o'clock client came in with the news and I was stunned. How old was he? How did it happen? How could someone seemingly on the top of his game slip away? I guess these are the hows that are always asked when someone so gifted and so young passes.

When I awoke this morning I wanted to go down to Lafayette and Broome and pay my respects. After confirming the address I went to a Soho flower shop and bought a beautiful potted tulip. I carried it to the address he last called home and placed it next to a slowly growing pile of flowers, candles and even a cowboy hat with his face etched on the front.

There was a small mob of TV reporters and journalists camped out front, and I saw more than one camera recording me leaving a token of my affection for the actor as I walked away. A television reporter asked me to comment and I did, feeling myself becoming increasingly emotional as I told him how indebted I felt to Ledger for being brave enough to play Ennis Del Mar. Many would have, and I am sure did, turn down the role for fear of what it would do to their careers. Ledger took it and of course it made him an A-list performer, where formerly he had been little more than a coverboy.  I felt tears welling in my eyes, and when I got to the corner, I paused and caught my breath.

Two more reporters approached me, one from the Post and I am not sure where the other was from. I expounded on what I told the man with the camera, telling them what a loss this is to everyone, but especially sexual minorities.

Ledger, along with the rest of the cast and crew created a work of art. But beyond that, they set people free. From the time the film came out I heard stories of men who saw the film and soon after told their girlfriends, their families, their wives the truth about who they were. Brokeback Mountain brought the gay struggle into the homes of people who had never given it a thought. It made people think, it made them reconsider who they were, and few of us will ever have that sort of impact on others.

Thank-you so much Heath for giving me, and the rest of us, that gift. I feel the tears in my eyes again...

Brokeback was such a powerful film and I think I saw it in the theater three times. I never saw it on DVD as I did not want to trivialize its effect and message. But I think this weekend I am going to call a friend or two and have a screening...and talk about the man who is no longer with us.